The Tale of Miss Baggins: There and Back Again
by jabberwocky1996
Summary: Brianna Baggins and the company of dwarves have reached their destination and now the question remains: can they take back the Lonely Mountain from Smaug and if so, can they defend it?
1. And Now We're Back

Talia, now wearing a jet black dress and carrying her long, Elvish sword, walked around to behind her daughter who had her knives in front and behind Slit, who was now in Talia's throne room and hissing like an enraged snake. Tadeusz stood near the throne, just in case things got ugly.

"You were tracking a company of thirteen dwarf women and a half-ling." Lechsinka said "Why?"

"None of your damn business." Narzug snarled.

"Careful there, buddy." Tadeusz said "I would not antagonize our queen."

"I don't even know who you are." Slit hissed before his eyes darted to Lechsinka "Bet you do. Is he your new boyfriend?"

Lechsinka wanted to cut his throat right there for that comment but restrained herself. She looked up at Tadeusz who shared similar disgust and anger as she. She moved the knives a little closer to Narzug's throat just to be safe.

"Answer the question." Tadeusz said trying to control his anger.

"I'll answer it when I'm dead!" Narzug growled angrily "Piss off!"

Tadeusz then drew out one of his knives, with a very clear intent in mind.

"Easy there, my friend." Lechsinka said softly.

"It's alright, I won't hurt him" Tadeusz said "Too much."

"Enough." Talia bellowed "Sheath your blade."

Tadeusz did as commanded, sheathing his knife and backed away, just as Slit spat at him. It landed it a few inches away from his feet and he looked apathetically at Slit.

"I don't care about what you think of my daughter. Regardless of how...grotesque it is." she said sternly "If you cooperate and tell us what you know, I'll set you free."

"Fat chance." Split laughed.

"Answer the question." Lechsinka demanded as she slowly drove the knife in her right hand into the goblins skin "Why were you hunting Traude Oakenshield?"

"That dwarf bitch will never be queen." Slit growled.

"Queen?" Lechsinka asked in bafflement "That's insane. No one would dare enter Erebor while the dragon lives."

"You know nothing!" Slit hissed "She killed our king! She must die! Just like you."

"What are you talking about?!" Lechsinka demanded.

"Our time has come again. Too long have goblins stayed in the shadows." Slit said in a sadistic tone "It's time for us to rise and show all of you why you once feared the dark. We serve The One."

Talia suddenly felt deeply troubled by this and walked towards her throne and now stood in front of Slit with her back turned towards him.

"Oooh, it seems I struck a nerve. You understand now, don't you?" Slit laughed "Death is upon you. The flames of war are upon you!"

At that moment, Talia drew her sword without even turning around and sliced Slit's head clean off just as Lechsinka lifted her knives in the air. The deceased orcs head plopped onto the ground followed by it's lifeless body. Taduesz and Lechsinka looked equally shocked.

"I thought you said you were going to set him free." Lechsinka asked.

"And I did." Talia replied coldly "I freed his vile head from his miserable shoulders."

Lechsinka looked at her mother and could tell that while she was wiping the goblins blood, she still looked concerned about what Slit had said.

"Mother?" Lechsinka inquired with concern.

"I'm perfectly fine." Talia said as she sheathed her sword.

"W-What do you think he meant by 'the flames of war'?" Taduesz asked.

"It means they wish to unleash a weapon that will destroy all before it." Talia said with a twinge of fear in her voice.

"What'll we do, then?" Lechsinka inquired.

"Simple: nothing." Talia replied as she turned and began walking away.

"Whoa, whoa, wait." Taduesz barked "He said they served The One. And how did goblins make it across our borders?"

"As I seem to recall, captain" Talia went on "you're job is to make sure that doesn't happen again. Not be my war council."

"What if it does?" Lechsinka piped up "Better to act now than not be ready if orcs or goblins come at our door."

"Lechsinka." Talia said sternly as she turned to face her daughter "I refuse to get involved in anyone else's fight."

"That's insane." Lechsinka replied, trying not to sound too angry "If father were here-"

"That's enough!" Talia ordered.

Lechsinka backed away slightly in shock while Talia tried to calm herself down. She rarely ever screamed at Lechsinka and she never liked having to do so when she did. But mentioning her husband had become something of a berserk button for her. It brought back too many memories. Memories of what it was like to lose him. She quickly regained her composure and looked back at her daughter.

"He's not here." she said with a saddened tone in her voice "I am. And no one will enter this kingdom or leave it until I say otherwise."

"Yes, mother." Lechsinka said softly.

"No one." Talia said as she suddenly looked down "Except you two."

Tadeusz and Lechsinka were perplexed by this yet Talia maintained her royal composure.

"I beg your pardon, you're majesty?" Tadeusz inquired.

"As I said I don't intend to get involved in another's fight. But I don't trust either dwarf or goblin." Talia responded without looking up "Follow them at a safe distance. Then come back as soon as you can and tell me what you've seen."

The queen's daughter and captain of the guard looked at one another to see if they were on the same page. It seemed for all her faults, the queen of the woodland realm had at least some foresight. Lechsinka nodded approvingly and curtsied in front of her mother.

"I promise." she said "Tadeusz, come."

Taduesz nodded in reply and followed after the princess. However, Talia then snapped her fingers and the two stopped, as Talia turned slowly.

"Captain, make sure she comes back alive." she said sternly "Or you will not come back at all. Is that clear?"

Taduesz nervously bit his lip. "Yes, my lady."

Talia sighed and gestured for them to get going. And so they did.

—

The goblins burst out from the forest and found themselves on the river bank where the girls first landed. It was late afternoon, with the light of the sun gleaming through the trees as it lowered in the sky. It was then that one goblin with sabre-toothed fangs noticed a tiny pool of blood nearby some ferns. So he walked over to it, dipped his finger in it and then licked his finger to see what it tasted like.

"Dwarf blood!" he snarled "They were here!"

"I find something." said Black Eye.

Narzug and the sabre-toothed goblin named Slicer then walked over to Black Eye and looked down at the her feet and saw a cloth laying there. Slicer picked it up and smelled it. It had a different smell and taste from goblin blood.

"What do you smell?" Narzug asked.

"Man flesh." Slicer said.

Narzug then sniffed the cloth himself and sure enough, it smelled of human.

"Interesting." he said as she threw down the cloth and looked towards the river "They've found a way across the lake."

"How are we going to follow them?" asked one goblin.

"Simple, you idiot." Grinnah said smugly "The night belongs to us. And even then, we have the trees."


	2. Lake Crossing

In all her life, Brianna couldn't have thought that any body of water other then the sea could be so huge. The rest of the group was amazed at the lakes size too. When they first saw it at the end of the river they thought they'd hit the ocean. The girls were all sitting down except for Traude, Daniela and Brianna who were standing whilst Bard was steering the boat from the back. The barrels were at the center of the boat with the girls box of supplies comfortably tucked behind them. It was noticeably calmer then the river and there were few clouds in the sky at all. The gentle breeze created ripples in the water as the boat went down the lake.

Brianna then decided out of boredom to dip her hands in the water. It was then she got quite a shock.

"It's warm." she said aloud.

"What now?" Beate asked.

"The water's warm." Brianna replied "Warm as a summer's day."

"No way." Bridget piped up "Lemmie see." She then dipped her hand in the water and sure enough it was warm. "Well, I'll be. How is that possible?"

"Underground vents I'd imagine." Bard explained "Legend says the Lonely Mountain used to be a mighty volcano. When it burned itself out, the dwarves came and the people of Dale soon after."

"Aye that it was." Barbara added "And out from the cooled lava came precious gems."

"As much as I'd love to listen to more" Ottilie said "That is Laketown right?"

Everyone looked ahead of the boat to where Ottilie was pointing. They soon caught sight of a town in the distance that seemed to be floating on the lake itself.

"Yes it is." Bard replied.

"How does one build a town on a lake, Dorothea?" Nadja asked her sister.

"I don't really know." Dorothea replied.

Nadja then turned her attention back to Bard with a mischievous look on her face. Dorothea caught on.

"For the sake of my soul, sister, please no." she said in a deadpan manner.

"Too late I'm already going for it." Nadja said completely ignoring her sister.

She walked up to the rear of the boat near the sail where Bard was and sat down, propping herself against the supply box.

"So, you've been sailing these waters for a long time." she said smiling "Bet you must gain a lot of strength from it."

"I'd think that was obvious." Bard said slightly confused "Why? Don't any of the male dwarves in your mountains do the same?"

Nadja blinked and searched with her eyes nervously, realizing she may be making a fool of herself.

"W-Well...obviously smartass." she blurted out "What do you think we do? Just carve gems all damn day?"

"You don't look like a woman who works." Bard responded "This must be your first time away from home."

Nadja scoffed "You know, I'd have you know-"

"Do shut up." Daniela said "Get your sorry self over here."

Nadja reluctantly agreed and walked over to the others guiltily. Traude, Daniela and Brianna sat back down along with the others and they were all now sitting in a circle with Barbara counting the coins they had to pay Bard.

"I don't trust this lakeman." Daniela growled "I say we throw him over the side and be done with it."

"His names Bard, you know." Brianna pointed out.

"How did you know?" Bertha asked.

"Uh, I asked him." Brianna replied "Duh."

"I don't give a damn what his name is." Daniela angrily said.

"Regardless of how we feel about the man, we have to pay him." Barbara piped up "Now, come on, girls. Turn out your pockets, don't leave anything off the table."

The girls all did as commanded as they opened their bags and brought out their pocket-sized money bags. As Daniela and Traude did so, they looked at one another with the same suspicious expression.

"How do we know he won't betray us?" Daniela whispered.

"We don't." Traude replied "Just be careful."

"Okay!" Barbara exclaimed "That's everyone…except Gerlinde."

Everyone looked at Gerlinde, who was leaning against the boat and who did some eye searching when everyone looked at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Come on now, Gerlinde." Traude said with her arms folded "Give us what you have. We know you have your bag."

"Oh no, not this time! I have been bled dry by this adventure!" Gerlinde protested "And what have me and my sister seen on this whole escapade?! Nothing but pain and misery and grief-"

"And the Lonely Mountain." Beate said in awe as she stood up and turned away.

"Exactly!" barked just as what Beate said clicked in her brain "And I...wait what?"

Everyone quickly turned to where Beate was staring and they all stood up and gasped in awe. From the right side of the boat they could see it. The Lonely Mountain. It stood tall and proud, towering above the hills around it, mostly due to the area around the lake being flat prairie. They were so close. So close to being home again.

"By Durin's beard." Gerlinde said softly.

Without hesitation, she rushed to her bag, zipped it open and pulled out her bag and handed it to Barbara.

"Take all of it!" she said "Before I change my mind!"

Barbara tried to fight back a smirk as she put Gerlinde's money with everyone else's. Bard then walked up to them from the back of the boat.

"Hand me the money." he said "Hurry!"

"We will not pay you until we get there." Traude said.

"Ma'am, if you value your lives, you will pay now and not a moment sooner." Bard replied sternly "There are guards ahead. You need to get into the barrels."

The girls looked just ahead of them and sure enough saw a nearby dock with a white gazebo at the end of it that had a green roof. Traude sighed and looked to the girls.

"Go on, get in." she said.

"Absolutely not!" Bridget barked "I'm not getting back into one of those wet and damp barrels!"

Everyone then gave Bridget extremely cross looks. Even Bertha, her own sister, looked angry at her.

"U-Unless you all look at me like that." Bridget stammered as she climbed into her barrel.

Everyone quickly clambered into the barrels whilst being sure not to tip them over and ducked down to stay out of sight. Brianna looked the hole in the side of her barrel as the boat reached the dock and Bard disembarked and walked up to some people near the entrance of the gazebo. He then started talking with a large dark skinned man holding a dog in his left hand.

"What's going on?" Traude whispered.

"He's talking to someone." Brianna replied.

"Who is it?" Dorothea asked.

"I have no idea. All I know is that he's talking to him." Brianna said back "Oh crap! He's pointing right at us!"

"What?!" Traude hissed.

"Wait…something's up." Brianna continued "Now their shaking hands!"

"Did he just sell us out?!" Ophelia whispered.

"Ah man." Nadja moaned quietly "I thought we could have had something!"

Dorothea rolled her eyes in irritation, unaware of what was about to happen.

"Alright, boys!" called out the dark skinned man "Dump 'em!"

"Dump them?" Brianna whispered to herself.

And then suddenly countless amounts of fish where suddenly dumped into all the barrels and soon all the girls were practically buried in wet, smelly fish that filled the barrels to the brim. Bard, in the meantime, handed the money over to the dark skinned man.

"Thanks, Fred." he said as he got back to his boat.

"No problem." Fred said "What about that box there?"

Bard glanced to the supply box. "Just leave it. I'm not even sure why I even have that."

"Alright then." Fred said deadpanly "Have a nice day."

"You too." Bard said as he cast off.

He barely got several feet away from the dock (though thankfully out of hearing range) then the girls started moaning from inside their barrels. Bard promptly kicked Nadja's barrel and the girls shut up like clams.

"Stay quiet!" Bard ordered "We're approaching the gate. And stay still."


	3. Any Fish to Declare?

Lake-town was a truly wonderful sight to behold. The town was built on top of the lake with much of the support structure sitting on very solid rock and sand under the water. On one side, a boardwalk extended all the way to the shore. The lake flowed through the town in the form of wide streams like avenues and roads, with the houses and other buildings being built around them. Bridges helped link some of the buildings and boroughs of the town. The gate was the main way to enter the town and it was a metal gate that was built into a bridge approximately thirty feet away from another hanging bridge.

"Halt!" called out a voice "Good inspection! Papers please!"

An old man with grey hair and a short beard wearing grey, weathered clothing appeared from a nearby building. Evidently, he was the gatekeeper.

"Oh, it's you, Bard." he said "Good day."

"Hello, Percy." Bard said.

"You're back later than usual." Percy said "But better late than never I guess. Anything to declare?"

"No, not really." Bard said as he reached into his pocket and handed Percy a paper "Outside of these barrels and a box, I just want to get home to my family."

"I'm right there with you man." Percy said as he walked over to his office.

He sat down and then stamped something onto the paper and then walked out to Bard.

"There we are now." he said "Everything's in order."

"Hold on a second." said a woman who suddenly snatched the paper out of Percy's hands.

She was a woman with curly blonde hair which was tucked back into a messy half-ponytail bun, with some curled strands of hair hanging on the side of her face. She was wearing a dark fur coat dress lined with grey/white fox fur. She had a surprisingly fair face with blue eyes and smooth skin. But the most striking feature was a deep scar on the left side of her neck that was as long as a man's finger.

The personality of this woman, whose name was Adina, was a different matter.

"What do we have here, Bard?" she demanded in a surprisingly sultry and smooth accented voice "Your paper says 'deliver empty barrels from the Woodland Realm to Esgaroth'. But, uh, these are not empty are they?"

Bard could never figure out whether he liked Adina. In fact, no one in town really liked her or her father. She tended to have a haughty attitude and always seemed uncomfortable being around other people. And yet for some reason she seemed to take time in her day to follow Bard around and even he couldn't deny she was rather easy on the eyes. But Bard was wise enough to stay calm and relaxed so as not to set her off.

"Does it really matter what goes into the barrels on the way home?" he asked "I thought you had other business to attend do."

"Exactly. The Master's business." Adina replied coldly "And since he is my father that makes it my business."

"Fair point." Bard continued "Did you change your hairstyle? Usually you have it down."

Adina blinked in surprise, inexplicably feeling awkward but also flattered he'd noticed her hair. Just then, a bearded man wearing a purple uniform with armour walked in on the conversation, along with four other men and one more woman.

"You're late." Adina said without even turning around.

"Sorry, ma'am." the man said "We were busy stopping a robbery."

"Of course you were, Braga." Adina said "Now dump these barrels over the side."

"All these barrels ma'am?" asked a guard.

"Yes." Adina replied dryly.

"With all due respect ma'am…" Percy started.

"I have a job to do, Percy. As well all do." Adina barked "These fish are illegal."

Braga sighed with boredom. "Come on, boys. Do as she says."

The guards walked onto Bard's ship, grabbed some of the barrels and prepared to dump them into the water.

"You're making a mistake!" Percy piped up.

"Stay out of this, old man!" Adina barked.

"No, he's right." Bard said "You are making a mistake."

"H-How?" Adina asked as she turned back to Bard.

"I'm just saying when people find out that your dad's dumping fish back in the lake they're going to be angry." Bard said firmly looking Adina in the eyes "And hunger and anger don't go well together."

Adina sighed nervously, covering the scar on her neck with her left hand.

"Are you threatening me?" Adina demanded.

"No, ma'am. I'm just being honest." Bard replied.

Adina bit her lip, trying not to look Bard in the eyes. She felt her face growing warm and couldn't explain why. That happened too often whenever her and this confounded bargeman. Damn how he frustrated her. She finally sighed through her nose just as the guards were about to dump the barrels with the dwarves inside.

"Stop!" Adina ordered.

Braga and his guards stopped, glancing towards Adina.

"Leave the barrels." she continued "Open the gate."

"Yes, milady." a dark-skinned guard said "Come on, boys."

The guards quickly straightened the barrels and headed towards the gate. Bard chuckled, still close to Adina's face.

"Thank you, Adina." Bard said smiling "Looks like you got a heart after all."

"Don't bet on it." Adina replied "Now get the hell away from my face."

"Will do." Bard responded.

He clambered onto his boat as a man nearby pulled on a lever which caused the gate to go upwards with a creaking noise.

"Better watch out, Bard." Adina said in a faux threatening manner "My father knows where you live."

"Everyone knows where everyone lives, Adina". Bard said back "Be seeing you."

And not a single person checked what was under the fish in the barrels.


	4. Welcome to Laketown, Mind the Mop

The Master of Lake-town lived in probably the most magnificent building in the whole town and was the second tallest with the nearby bell tower being the tallest. The house had a unique design with what looked like spikes acting as gutters on the sides of the building. The roof was jet black lined with red at the edges whilst the rest of it was the same brown color of the boardwalks and the rest of the wooden buildings.

His bedroom had a huge bed with grey covers and white pillows. On the right side of the bedroom near the window hung a painting of his father, a man with a short white beard and hair, glasses, a barrette and a bear-skin coat. Nearby it and the window was an open balcony which had spots of snow on it. Adina was currently in the bedroom, getting ready to dump out some water from a recently fixed leak in the roof and naturally was doing some chattering.

"Can you believe that man?! He had the nerve to talk to me like that!" she barked as she opened the window "I swear that confounded bargeman gets on my nerves."

"Oh, grow up, darling." the Master dryly replied as he left the bathroom.

He was a man with short-cut dark grey hair with light grey streaks. He looked weathered compared to his daughters pale, youthful appearance. No sooner had he finished telling his daughter to 'grow up' then he started coughing a rather nasty cough. Adina quickly dumped the water, hurried to her father and sat him down on the bed and began patting him on the back.

"That's it, papa." she said "Let it out. That's it."

The coughing subsided and the Master sighed with relief.

"Where on earth did you get such a cough?" Adina inquired.

"Must be a cold." the Master replied, "Adina, would you be a dear and get me some water?"

She nodded and headed over to a water pitcher which was on a dresser under the painting on the wall.

"Blasted weather…" the Master said between another cough "…this cold will kill me, it will."

"People do not die from colds, papa." Adina said.

"Must be inherited from the family. I don't doubt it." the Master protested "Your great grandfather decides to boink his half-sister while married and then next thing you know here I am coughing like a cat with a hairball."

"Just because great-grandpa was a creep doesn't mean we get one another's illnesses." Adina said as she handed her dad the water "Besides we have other problems."

"Like what?" the Master asked as he finished chugging the water down.

"Well, Bard for one thing." Adina replied.

"Why must everything eventually lead back to that man?" the Master demanded as he got up and headed out the door.

How the hell should I know? Adina thought to herself.

"He's a troublemaker!" Adina insisted as she followed her father who opened the door to the study.

The study was a small room with a huge bookshelf in one part of the room filled with books. There was a wooden desk loaded with papers and an open book that was bookmarked on page 394 and a swivel chair. Nearby was a bird cage with a blue and golden macaw inside. Just above the cage door was a little sign that read 'Basil.'

"Good afternoon, Basil." the Master said as he passed the cage.

Basil squawked in response as the Master picked up the open book on his desk with his right hand and began casually reading it while Adina stood quietly nearby.

"Father, it's not just Bard." she said "Everyone's mood is turning ugly."

"They're commoners, Adina." The Master said without even turning around "They've always been ugly."

"Yes but…" Adina went on nervously "…there's been talk of an election."

The Master immediately shut the book and looked to his daughter with a shocked expression on his face.

"Are you serious?" he demanded.

"It's a rumor but possibly." Adina replied.

The master gasped in disgust and put the book down on the desk along with his glass of water (which he'd holding in his left hand) and began heading towards the door.

"I can't believe this!" he ranted as he walked out the door into the hall back towards his room "I won't stand for it!"

"I don't like this anymore then you do." Adina replied as she followed after her father.

"Doesn't matter!" the Master exclaimed as he walked out onto the bedroom balcony which had a full view of the town "The title of Master of this town has been in our family for three generations! And we've had to do whatever we can to keep it! Families family!"

"A messed up family." Adina muttered under her breath.

"Oh I'm sorry." the Master said sarcastically "Do I need to remind you what happened the last time the rabble was left uncontrolled?"

"I don't need you to." Adina said, brushing her hand over her neck scar.

"Who is the ringleader of these people?!" the Master asked "Who would dare to-"

It suddenly clicked in the Master's brain as he got a sly grin on his face and Adina had the same expression as she joined her dad on the balcony.

"Bard." they both said at once.

"Well, if he is behind all this, what do we do about it?" the Master inquired.

"In an ideal world, papa, we'd arrest him." Adina replied "But we can't do that without a warrant and he might have the favor of the people."

"Too true." the Master said "I guess we'll just have to wait for him to make a mistake on his own."

"I don't see how he could have the favor of the people anyway. What has he got to show for it?" Adina barked "Sure he's a working man. Friendly to others. Handsome...athletic…smooth.."

"What?" the Master asked in surprise.

Adina was snapped back into reality. "Nothing! Fuck Bard!"

Sounds like you're trying. the Master thought to himself.

/

Once he was sure they were not being watched, Bard quickly got to work emptying the barrels on his boat. Pretty soon all the girls were out of their barrels with their nightgowns, hair and the rest of them wet and covered in dead fish skin and they smelled horrible to match. The only person observing this was a strange looking man wearing a black sweater and who had a goatee and wore glasses. Bard quickly walked over to him and handed him the last of the money he had from the girls.

"You never saw them, they were never here." he said "The fish you can have for nothing."

"But they're dwarves." the goatee man pointed out.

"Yeah?" Bard asked "And?"

"Alright." the goatee man said dryly as he shrugged as he headed to the boat and began putting the fish back in the barrels.

The girls quickly got behind Bard as he peaked around the corner where the marketplace was. He then turned and looked at the girls, who were looking at him expectantly.

"I don't see any guards." he said "Now everyone stay close and follow me."

Everyone did as instructed and followed after Bard in a single file manner. The market place was very busy, even in the mid-afternoon. People were all over the place chatting, buying and selling. Some of them turned and gave the girls strange looks and began muttering amongst themselves. But from what Bard could see, everything seemed to be going better than he thought.

Until the guard showed up.

A guard armed with a spear suddenly saw the group as he was patrolling.

"Halt!" he barked "I said halt!"

The girls quickly hurried to where a group of clothing stands were, leaving Bard absolutely flummoxed. But as they rounded the corner they saw another guard appear into view.

"Oi!" he yelled "Stop right there!"

"Get back!" Traude ordered.

The girls were now forced under a pagoda like-structure with shopping stands around it with the poor shopping patrons at their backs. Bard stood by a nearby wooden pillar to see what was going on as an interested crowd started to take notice. So it was a surprise to everyone what happened next.

Two more guards headed into the pagoda along with the other two only to be met by the girls who then quickly disarmed them with mops and cooking pans and with quick blows to the head knocked them out of the fight. Even more impressive was that they were able to do it without hurting the shopping patrons. This unfortunately attracted the attention of someone else.

Braga and his group of guards walked in the scene due to hearing the kafuffle just as the girls hid behind the carts, ducked behind them and tried to keep the other unconscious guards out of sight.

"What's going on here?" Braga demanded.

"Ah, Braga!" Bard said suddenly, "Nice to see you again. How's the wife?"

"Goddamn it, it's you." Braga said in irritation, rolling his eyes "This is the second time I've encountered you today. What have you been up to, you fish-chugging bastard?"

"Nothing much." Bard explained "Just trying to get through this thing called life."

One of the shop owners watching was a brunette woman named Hilda Bianca, who was heavily pregnant. She looked down at her left side and saw Bertha, Beate and Bridget doing their best to stay quiet. The guard just in front of Bertha moaned in pain. Hilda quickly pretended to knock over a nearby flower pot and it cracked into pieces when it hit the guard's head. Braga took notice of this and looked with suspicion at Hilda.

"What was that?!" he inquired aggressively.

"Sorry, sir." Hilda replied "I felt the baby kick."

Braga raised an eyebrow. For a moment, it seemed like he'd walk over and look behind the carts where the girls were hiding, sweat dripping down their faces from the stress. Instead he looked at Bard and sighed.

"Oi, Braga!" said a shopkeeper.

They looked to see the shopkeeper holding up a woman's night-wear with a smirk on his face.

"Think you're wife would look great in this?" he snarked.

"What the hell do you know about my Denise?" Braga demanded.

"As much as anybody in this town has." the shopkeeper shot back.

A large group of people oooh'd and laughed, the girls trying their damndest not to laugh. Braga angrily flipped the man off, who seemed unphased by this.

"Come on, boys. We're done here." he said "

The guards then left the marketplace and as soon as they were out of sight, Bard walked over to Hilda's cart and looked down at Bertha, Beate and Bridget.

"All clear." Bard said "Time to move."

The girls did as instructed, made their way out of the pagoda and followed Bard whilst the market returned to it's busy self. Albeit a little quieter than before. On their way out, Beate looked to Hilda.

"Thank you so much." she said as she noticed her pregnant belly "How far along are you?"

"Only a few weeks left to go," Hilda responded.

"Oh, how w-wonderful!" Beate said smiling "Thanks again!"

And with that she trotted off following the others, leaving Hilda a little perplexed by what transpired.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes the fic is back! Not too many genderswapped laketowners but the idea of Richard E. Grant and Samara Weaving bantering as the Master of Lake-town and Adina (who I based their appearences on) was too good to resist.**


	5. That Long House Meet Up Chapter

Bard and the dwarves rounded another corner and saw a roughly sixteen year-old girl with dark hair wearing a coat over her dress that was similar to the color of her hair. She was Bard's daughter, Beth.

"Dad!" she barked "Our house is being watched!"

The girls began murmuring among themselves nervously. Bard, however, remained calm and tried to think of a solution. He couldn't take them through the front or the back. But it was then that he remembered someplace no one ever looked or even a spy would suspect. He then turned to the girls and cleared her throat and the girls stood at attention.

"I have an idea, dwarves." he said "But it's going to sound crazy."

"Try us, we're gullible." Nadja said.

She would inevitably regret saying that.

/

Bards two sons, Shane and Terrence sat down at the dinner table, waiting for their father. Shane was the oldest of Bard's children at sixteen whilst Terrence was the youngest at eleven and they both had brown hair. Shane tapped his fingers on the table while Terrence fiddled with a yo-yo. And lo and behold, they're father and sister entered through the front door.

"Hey dad!" they both said.

Bard walked over and embraced his sons as Beth closed the door.

"Hello, boys." he said "How'd you survive while I was away?"

"Same as usual." Shane replied "Hey Beth, did you get the groceries?"

"The what?" Beth asked right as it dawned on her "Oh damn it! I forgot!"

"Oh come on, Beth!" Shane exclaimed "I asked you like five minutes ago."

"I'll go down to the marketplace later." Bard insisted, bringing an end to the potential argument "I need your sister for something. Beth, go bring them in."

His daughter nodded, climbed down the staircase near the door and soon was in the cellar. She then walked into a closed off part of the cellar which is where the bathroom was and knocked on the wall near the toilet. The lid flew open and Daniela surfaced with an angry look on her face.

"Now you listen here, kid." she growled not even trying to hide her anger "If you speak of this to anyone I'll rip your puny little arms off."

Beth just ignored the grouchy dwarf woman and backed away to give her room as she crawled out of the toilet.

"Just go up the stairs." Beth said.

As soon as Daniela began climbing up the stairs (grumbling as she did so), Beth went over and helped poor Brianna out of the toilet. As soon as Brianna made for the stairs, Beth began helping the rest of the girls as they began coming in single file from the toilet. Shane was perplexed to say the least.

"Dad?" he asked "Why are there dwarf women climbing out of the toilet?"

"Will they bring us luck?" Terrence asked innocently.

"We're not leprechauns, kid." Nadja said.

"Alright then." Bard ordered as he poked his head out from one of the rooms "All of you sit down by the fire. I'll be back with some warm clothes in a second. Oh, Shane!" he continued as she looked to his children "Would you and Beth make our guests some warm milk?"

"Yeah dad." Beth replied.

"What do I do, dad?" Terrence asked.

"Just sit there and wait until I come with the clothes." Bard said as he re-entered the room.

As Shane and Beth headed into the kitchen, the girls all sat down and observed the house. It was larger than they'd pictured in their heads but not as large as they were hoping. It was a modest house with two bedrooms and another bed nearby the staircase. The kitchen was one of the smaller rooms in the house with a net and several spices and herbs hung up via ropes above the counter near the cabinets. The room Bard was in was near the kitchen with the dinner table in between it and the fireplace which was pretty much the only stone in the house. The sun shone through the windows which were a very light aqua. There staircases on both the front and back of the house, with the girls having come through the cellar which was in between both the front and the back.

Bard finally emerged from the dressing room with clothes all neatly folded in a large basket and placed it on the table. There were also some towels draped on the pile.

"Son, pass around the towels if you please." he said softly to Terrence.

Terrence did as instructed and handed the towels to Brianna, Kamilla, Dorothea, Bridget and Ophelia. All of the girls quickly headed to the table and brought out the clothes from the basket.

"Now I must admit, they may not be the best for winter." Bard said "They're more for summer and spring, but they'll keep you warm regardless."

"What about our nightgowns and our other dresses?" Beate inquired.

"We'll have Beth hang them up by the fireplace." Beth replied "Now go change."

/

After about an hour, most of the girls had gotten changed into their new outfits and they were very grateful to be dry, warm and have clothes that didn't smell of fish. They also had towels and coats draped over them like shawls and were all barefoot since their shoes were still very wet. Traude had a particularly lovely outfit in which the top was more like a shirt with soft colors and portraits of flowers stitched on. The rest of the dress including the hem was simple with light sand-colors and light grey squares. It was very clearly a summer dress but Traude found it very comfortable.

Beth was busy hanging the girl's old wet clothes by the fireplace whilst Shane and Terrence handed out the warm milk to the girls. Shane went over to Frieda and handed her some milk.

"Thank you." she said softly as she took a cup.

Shane observed Frieda as she took a sip. She was currently wearing a white dress with blue stripes. The sunlight through the windows cast a beautiful glow on her.

"You have lovely eyes." Shane found himself saying.

"Well, thank you." Frieda said smiling "My mother told me I have my father's eyes."

Beth cleared her throat. "Uh, Shane, can you help me with the thing?"

Shane looked over confused at his sister. "What thing?"

"The thing." Beth responded.

Shane lifted an eyebrow which caused an exasperated Beth to hold up a grocery bag. It then clicked in Shane's head.

"Oh right!" Shane replied briefly, turning to Frieda "Excuse me."

Frieda nodded as Shane grabbed his own bag as he and his sister went to tell their father they were heading to the market. Meanwhile, Traude sat by a nearby window that was open. She looked out the window in boredom but something quickly caught her attention and caused her to gasp softly. At the top of one of the towers was a huge wind-lance. The weapon resembled a huge 30 foot version of a crossbow and aimed directly at the sky.

"A dwarf wind-lance." Traude said to herself.

Brianna and Barbara quickly took notice of the weapon too and looked at it through the window.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, Traude." Brianna piped up.

"She has." Barbara said.

"What do you mean?" Brianna asked.

"The last time we saw that kind of weapon was when Smaug destroyed Dale." Barbara replied "You see, Girion, king of the city, had rallied his bowmen to fire upon the beast."

"But they didn't kill him, did he?" Brianna inquired.

"No, they did not." Barbara continued, not noticing Terrence was listening in "A dragon's hide is tougher then the strongest armor. No ordinary bow can pierce it."

"Then what can?" Brianna asked.

"A black arrow fired from a wind-lance like that one could pierce it." Barbara went on pointing to the wind-lance on the tower "But few of those arrows were ever made or available at any given time."

"What did Girion do?" Brianna demanded.

"Patience, Brianna. Don't ask so many questions." Barbara went on "Girion did the only thing he could do. He shot at the beast himself. There were only four arrows in Dale and they were at his post. He fired three of them. And every one missed it's mark."

Brianna nervously bit her lip as Beatrice and Beth joined in on the conversation and they looked to Traude who was still looking out the window thoughtfully.

"If only the aim of men were true that day." she said softly "Much would have been different."

"You speak as if you were there." Beatrice said.

"I was. When I was young." Traude said as she shut the window "All dwarves know the story."

"Then you know that Girion loosened the dragon's scale under the left wing near it's heart." Terrence piped up to the three dwarves' surprise "Just one more shot and he'd have killed that thing."

"That's a myth, child." Daniela said.

"Where is your father?" Traude inquired.

"In his room." Terrence replied pointing to said room.

"Alright, we've given you all our money." Traude said as she stood up "Where are the weapons?"

"W-What weapons?" Beth asked.

"Our weapons." Traude said "You know the…." suddenly she grew very concerned "Wait. Where are the weapons?"

"What about our weapons?!" Ophelia barked, having eavesdropped in a rare moment of good hearing.

Thinking back, Brianna thought about it and realized that the box they'd had on the boat wasn't brought back with them. It was something the other girls started to pick up.

"Oh crap." Traude said.

As soon as Bard got out of his room, the dwarves all looked towards him with varying degrees of confusion and anger.

"Where is the crate containing our weapons?!" Daniela snapped.

"The crate on the boat?" Bard replied "I thought that was empty."

All the dwarves groaned in irritation.

"That crate had our weapons!" Gerlinde barked "Iron forged swords and axes!"

"My grandfather's spear is in there!" Beate cried out.

"It's a joke!" Bertha said "That's what this is!"

"Alright, everyone, calm down!" Barbara ordered "As long as we can get the crate before it's opened, we can retrieve our weapons."

"We don't even know where the hell it is!" Frieda barked.

"Then we must find it ourselves." Traude said as she brushed back some hair "Let's go."

"No." Bard said sternly, causing the girls to stop in their tracks.

"I beg your pardon, fisherman?" Ophelia said in surprise.

"There are guards watching this house." Bard continued "And they'll probably be watching every entrance and exit in town."

"Well, what'll we do?" Bertha asked softly.

"Wait till nightfall." Bard replied "And better still you wait till tomorrow."

The girls all sighed and or groaned in irritation at this but decided to just roll with it. As the girls spread out and chatted amongst themselves in other sections of the house, five of them stayed at the table to have their own discussion.

"Durin's Day is tomorrow." Traude said "We must find our weapons and the hidden door by then."

"And if we don't?" Kamilla asked with concern in her voice.

"Then this quest was for nothing." Frieda responded.

"Couldn't we come back next year?" Brianna inquired "It'll be autumn next year too."

"We might not get all of us together in time." Barbara replied "It took us half a year to assemble our group. And with the orcs hunting us there won't be a next time."

"Good point." Brianna said with a sigh.

Barbara looked at everyone around her. They looked disappointed, tired or just done with everything. Kamilla had walked over towards the bed where her sister was sitting. She noticed, however, that despite her composure, Traude looked particularly nervous. Her hands were clasped together in front of her lips as she looked at the table and sighed through her nose. She could feel the princesses restlessness and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Traude, why not take the offer and go?" Barbara insisted "You and I have made do with less."

During this, Bard had been rearranging things in the kitchen but upon hearing Traude's name, he glanced towards her in shock, before rubbing his chin and heading out the door. Brianna took notice of this but decided not to say anything. Back with Kamilla, she winced in pain as she sat down next to her sister Frieda, who looked at her with great concern as she felt her injury.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Frieda asked.

"I'm fine." Kamilla insisted "I just need to sit down."

Just then, a thought returned to Frieda's mind. It was of that elf that Kamilla was flirting with in the Woodland Realm. She still worried what Traude would think of all this and what she'd do to Kamilla if she ever found out. She noticed also her sister look out the window at the horizon, as if she was waiting for something or someone.

"What are you looking at?" Frieda asked.

"I'm just thinking." Kamilla said back without looking at her sister.

"You wouldn't be waiting for your elf knight by any chance were you?" Frieda finally said.

Kamilla gasped in shock and immediately turned to Frieda with an equally shocked expression on her face.

"H-How did you know?" she stammered.

"I heard you and him flirting with each other in the Woodland Realm." Frieda replied "I didn't say anything because you were busy talking."

"Is a friendly chat with a guard so bad?" Kamilla protested.

"Kamilla, I saw the way you were looking at him." Frieda continued softly "I've seen that look before. It's a look the lovelorn have."

"You mean like what Dorothea had for Beorn?" Kamilla inquired.

"Exactly." Frieda replied.

Kamilla sighed in defeat. She thought it was her little secret. But, much to her annoyance, she couldn't keep anything from her sister. And Frieda was almost always right.

"You've only known him for about a day. Possibly two." she continued.

"But he saved my life." Kamilla said "He rescued me, like a knight in a fairy tale saving his royal lady. If I were ever to marry anyone, it should be him."

"And I'm grateful that he did save your life. But he is an elf." Frieda pointed out "And you know how much auntie hates them, so please do stop this foolishness."

"But I can't." Kamilla said as her voice broke "He's in my every thought. Ever since I saw him. He told me he wanted to see the world. I want to be the one to show him."

Frieda just couldn't believe it. Her sister had fallen head over heels for an elf. Granted, he'd saved her life at the river gate but he was still an elf. And yet, there was a sense of longing in the tone of Kamilla's voice, which she rarely used but did so when she was telling the honest truth. Frieda then gently moved her right hand and grasped onto Kamilla's left then gave an affectionate squeeze.

"I just don't want your heart broken, dear sister." she said softly "I want to keep you safe like I promised mum."

"I know you do." Kamilla sighed "Actually, I'm quite tired. Can I lie down and rest for a bit?"

Frieda nodded and Kamilla lay down on her back on the bed whilst Frieda propped her up with some pillows. Kamilla sighed, shut her eyes and tried to get some rest whilst Frieda headed to the bathroom. Now during this conversation, Bard stood outside on his back porch, Traude's name going through his head. It sounded so familiar. But he couldn't figure out where he'd heard it. Or even if he'd read it. He then looked to the Lonely Mountain, which loomed over the town like a giant castle. Just then, what was familiar about Traude's name started to become clear. He remembered an old tapestry he'd seen not long ago when he took his daughter Beth to get a new dress. Last time he saw it, it was hanging on the wall nearest the door. Beth then poked her head out, interrupting her father's thoughts.

"Daddy?" she asked.

Bard didn't answer right away but instead looked at the mountain for a minute more then looked at his daughter.

"Stay with your brothers." he said firmly "Don't let them leave."

And with that he hurried down the stairs and towards the marketplace, making sure not to knock anyone over as he ran.


	6. A Blind Elf and a Tapestry

Tadeusz and Lechsinka felt like they'd been walking for an eternity and were more than relieved to arrive at the river's end. They stopped for a minute to rest while Tadeusz looked ahead of them and saw the river flow into the great lake where Lake-town was. In the distance clouds were approaching, meaning snow was on it's way. Lechsinka, meanwhile, pulled some lembas bread out of her pocket and quietly began to eat when Taduesz took notice.

"Is that lembas bread?" he asked

"Yeah, I got it from my mother before we left." Lechsinka replied.

"Mind if I have some?" Tadeusz inquired.

"Fine, knock yourself out." Lechsinka confirmed "With lembas you only ever need one or two bites."

They both sat quietly for a few minutes, enjoying lembas and the windy but nice weather. They hadn't crossed the magical barrier that kept Mirkwood warm all year round but the winter winds still managed to slip through. Birds chirped in the nearby trees which added something of a serenity to the whole thing. Lechsinka then decided to say what was on her mind.

"So, you want to tell me about her?" she asked.

"About who?" Tadeusz replied casually as he finished his bread.

"You know who." Lechsinka said "That dark haired dwarf woman."

Her friend almost spat out his bread when she asked that and she had to suppress the urge to snicker even if she wasn't making fun of him. Tadeusz looked more than a little surprised. He'd assumed Kamilla and him were alone when they chatted on the Feast of Starlight. Where was Lechsinka during that other then upstairs with her mother?

"I thought you were upstairs." he said calmly.

"My mother sent me to check up on you. That's when I saw you sitting down with that dwarf woman and talking with her." Lechsinka replied "I was right at the door just beyond the lamp. After a few minutes I went back up."

Taduesz sighed with embarrassment and scratched a non-existent itch on the back of his neck.

"Taduesz, I saw how you hung on her every word as she talked to you." Lechsinka continued "Admit it, you were captivated by her."

"Alright, I was." Taduesz replied not even missing a beat "And if I leave her now, I will never forgive myself."

"But she's a dwarf!" Lechsinka protested.

"I know you mean well. But I can't live with myself if she dies because of me." Taduesz responded as he stood up "She needs my help, I know it. If that means I have to hunt thirty orcs on my own then so be it."

"But you're not on your own." Lechsinka said smiling like a proud big sister.

The two stopped at the same time and looked at one another, with a perplexed look on Taduesz's face.

"Can I ask you something about your mother?" he asked.

"Sure what?." Lechsinka responded.

Taduesz bit his lip slightly out of nervousness but finally decided to say what was on his mind.

"Is the queen going blind?" he asked bluntly.

Lechsinka was taken aback by this. It was such an outlandish thing to claim that her mother, the queen of Mirkwood and the Woodland Realm who had fought off orcs, goblins and even dragons, would suffer from such a mortal ailment as blindness. The fact that a captain in their army was bringing something like that up was silly.

Or at least it would have been if it wasn't true.

She knew full well even before he finished his sentence that her mother had been steadily going blind. Ever since the family doctor had told Lechsinka the news that her mother would slowly start to lose her sight and had begun to for some time, she'd had to assume the role of caretaker, a task deemed unthinkable in her younger years as her mother had been able to take care of herself as all elves tend to do. But now, she was facing the prospect that at an undetermined time her mother would be completely blind, unable to see, unable to fight or worse unable to properly rule.

"Y-Yes. Yes she's starting to go blind." she said after some uncomfortable silence "How did you know?"

"I didn't. Not at first anyway." Tadeusz replied.

Lechsinka sighed a tired sigh. "It's almost a cruel joke: the warrior queen of the Woodland Realm brought down by damn cataracts."

Tadeusz sighed softly, now feeling awkward that he'd seemingly touched a nerve even if accidentally. But now he had to get back to his original opinion.

"Then you have to understand why this is so important." he said "The queen has never allowed monsters in on our lands. But she's allowing a horde of goblins to slip in and kill our prisoners. And now 18 of our guards lie dead."

"Whatever business these dwarves and goblins have with each other isn't our concern." Lechsinka said "It's not our fight!"

"But it is our fight! Aren't we part of this world? They're not going to stop at just them." Taduesz reiterated "With every victory this evil will grow. Your mother sent us on this quest so she must see it too. If your mother has her way, we will stay cooped up in our halls away from the light while she goes blind."

There was a brief silence between the two friends. On the one hand Lechsinka was thinking Tadeusz was out of order talking about her mother like that. But on the other hand, her mother was the one who sent them after the goblins in the first place. Maybe her mother was starting to notice things she wasn't.

"Tell me, princess." Tadeusz finally said breaking the silence "When did we allow evil to become stronger than us?"

/

It was later in the day by the time Bard finally got to the shop where the tapestry was only to discover it wasn't where he last remembered seeing it. He quickly began searching around for it whilst the shop owner sat behind the desk reading a book but looked up at him when he entered.

"Evening, Bard." he said "You seem to be in a hurry. What are you after?"

"There was an old tapestry here!" Bard replied without turning around "The dark blue one with gold lining! Where's it gone?"

"You mean that one over there?" the shop owner asked.

Bard turned to his right and saw the very blue wool cloth lined with gold colored linen he was looking for hanging from the wall next to some red and purple blankets in the corner of the shop. He immediately took it off the wall, flopped onto a nearby table and quickly spread it out. The tapestry was covered with drawings of a long family tree with the names of said family members written under the branches. He then looked close to the bottom of the tapestry and saw three names: Dis, Frerin…and Traude. And they were listed under Thrain who was listed under Thror.

It slowly began to come together. The mountain, the fact that they were dwarves and now Traude's name. This tapestry seemed to confirm his suspicions. But it was the conversation from outside that helped him reach a verdict. The windows and door had been left open to the shop and just outside Hilda Bianca was standing by the river avenue by a boat where two men were busy unloading some food from the boat whilst an dark-skinned old man with snow white hair and a short-cut beard observed the incoming clouds, knitting as he did so.

"The snows of winter are coming." he said "Better prepare yourselves."

"Thought we'd have more time." said Tommy who was a rather pudgy man with a goatee and was helping his friend Phil unload the food "Now Hilda what were yammering about?"

"They were dwarves, I tell you." Hilda insisted with her left hand on her baby bump "About the height of a wee twelve year old lad with messed up hair. I've never seen the likes of them around here."

"What are dwarves doing in town?" Tommy asked

"Don't you know, Tommy?" said the old man in a surprisingly deep voice "It's the prophecy."

"Prophecy?" asked the second man Phil unloading the supplies.

"Prophecy of Durin's Folk." the old man replied.

"You mean that old poem?" asked a nearby shop owner.

"I've heard of that!" said a customer.

"Me too!" said one man "My mum read it to me when I was little!"

"The old tales will come true!" said another man.

"Vast halls of treasure!" exclaimed another.

"That means silver, gold and riches beyond measure." said one.

"We can rebuild our lives!" said a man who was walking home with his daughter.

"Can it really be true, papa?" asked the man's daughter who had messed up dark hair "Has the lord of silver fountains returned?"

When he heard that, it clicked in Bards brain. He then remembered a poem his parents had read to him when he was young. Even though it had been years since his parents died, he could still remember the poem as clear as day:

_The lord of silver fountains_

_The master of carven stone_

_The heir of the mountain_

_Shall come into their own_

_And the bells will ring in gladness_

_At the mountain heir's return_

_But all shall fail in sadness_

_And the lake will shine and burn_

"Hey, Bard!" the shop owner barked suddenly "You alright there?"

Bard snapped back into reality and then picked up the tapestry and flopped it onto the shop owner's desk.

"How much?" he demanded.

"Oh take the old thing." the shop owner said as he raised an eyebrow "You sure you're alright?"

"Perfectly!" Bard replied as he put some silver coins onto the desk and headed for the door "I have to stop them!"

"Stop who?!" the shop owner yelled.

But Bard didn't answer for he was quickly out of ear shot. As he neared home, the clouds finally rolled up and snow began to gently fall around Laketown and in it. As he rounded the block where home was, he was stunned to be met by his three children.

"Oh thank heaven's father!" Beth panted.

"We tried to stop them!" Shane barked.

"It wasn't my fault!" Terrence piped up.

"Alright hold on!" Bard ordered "The dwarf women, where did they go?"

"They went to go get their stuff. Something about a crate." Shane replied.


End file.
